Sherlock Holmes Truth or Dare!
by snowflakes and ink
Summary: The title explains it!
1. Introduction

Chapter 1

Jaclyn: Hi everyone, my name is Jaclyn and welcome to Sherlock Holmes, truth or dare. You can make the characters do anything, ANYTHING! 'Maniac laughter' damn sugar high, there are no rules to this game, but bear in mind, this is rated T! So…….

Watson: So in order to continue to the next chapter, we have to get at least THREE requests, each from three different people

Moriaty: You can ask any characters, including all the minor ones

Jaclyn: So hurry and start typing before any of our characters die 'sees Moriaty cocking a revolver at Holmes'

Holmes: You know, I am kind of busy so…I am outta here! 'Tries to run'

Jaclyn: 'grabs Holmes back' so, ask away!


	2. Episode 1

Jaclyn: Welcome back, everyone, to Sherlock Holmes Truth or Dare. I am very glad to have readers submitting their reviews and it seems that we are going to have a lot of fun today! 'Evil smirk' So, Holmes, read the first dare

Holmes: make Lestrade do it

Jaclyn: No, Holmes, read it, NOW!

Holmes: 'grumbling' the first dare is from **SwordMasterZ **

**1. Dare Moriaty to Tattoo Holmes is the Smartest man in the world and I'm ** any  
where on his body.**

2. Dare Holmes to Kiss Irene Adler

3. Ask Watson at what time he was the most afraid for his life.

Moriaty: WTF

Jaclyn: alright now, Moriaty, if you please?

Moriaty: I am not doing this-

Jaclyn: you signed a contract so shut up

Moriaty: I did?

Jaclyn: Yeah, the one disguised as the **100 ways to kill Sherlock Holmes**

Moriaty: You tricked me!

Jaclyn: 'shrugged' only way to get you to join. Now, if you please? 'Takes out a tattoo gun' do you want a towel to bite on?

Moriaty: 'gags'

Jaclyn: Hurry up

Moriaty: Can I do that somewhere else?

Jaclyn: right, the room on the left 'kicks Moriaty into the room' alright, while Moriaty is trying to complete the first Dare, we can move on to the next one

Irene: I am not kissing the man who can't even out smart me!

Holmes: WTF!

Jaclyn: 'sighs' can we get a move on?

Holmes: Look, I never want any physical contact with-

Jaclyn: I thought you like her?

Holmes: 'blushes' well-

Jaclyn: Anyway, you signed a contract too, Holmes

Holmes: WHAT?!?

Jaclyn: the one disguised as **order form for a year's supply of free cocaine**

Holmes: :(

Irene: fine, might as well get this over and done with 'stood up and gave Holmes the shortest kiss on planet Earth

Watson and Lestrade: that's fluffy

Holmes: 'swoons'

Jaclyn: 'eye twitch'

Awkward pause

Jaclyn: 'clears throat' so how is our dear professor doing?

Moriaty: 'crawls out of the room' the pain….ow…..pain……gonna….die 'spaz'

Holmes: good for me

Jaclyn: 'reading the tattoo on Moriaty's arm' Homes is the smartest man in the world and I'm dumb YOU SPELLED 'HOLMES' WRONG!

Holmes: how dare you 'clenches fists'

Jaclyn: Sorry, but you have to redo the whole thing

Moriaty: WHAT?!?! BUT-B

Jaclyn: HAHA! Just kidding, but you know, you can't get rid of the tattoo now, so, yeah

Moriaty: But I can't go parading around London with this on my arm

Jaclyn: on second thought, why did you choose to tattoo it on your arm?

Pause

Moriaty: 'curses under his breath'

Jaclyn: alright, let's just go on to our Truth, I have here a lie detector, so if the person wearing it tells a lie, the bulb will turn red, and if he tells the truth, the bulb will turn green, so, Watson, if you please

Watson: huh?

Jaclyn: 'puts lie detector on him' at what time are you most afraid for your life?

Watson: um

Holmes: now, this is getting interesting

Watson: 'mutters under his breath'

Jaclyn: can't hear you

Watson: when Holmes put a centipede in my bed

Pause

Everyone: 'falls over laughing'

Jaclyn: Holmes, you put a centipede in Watson's bed?

Holmes: 'grins sheepishly'

Jaclyn: 'dazed' I thought that Holmes is, well, cold and practical

Watson: cold and practical? He sings like a chain saw in shower and he dressed as Mickey Mouse during Halloween last year!

Pause

Holmes: 'murderous glare at Watson'

Jaclyn: uh-huh, I don't think we need to know that. Let's just move on to our next request. Irene, read it for us

Irene: this one is from **MagicalBlack **

**Creator: Brilliant Idea.**

**1. Holmes: I dare you to let your aspidistra been taken by Mrs. Hudson.**

2. Watson: I dare you to make Holmes and Lestrade sing the beginning of the  
song: Can you feel the love tonight - Disney version on the wedding of you and Mary. You know the part timon and pumbaa always sing.

3. Moriarty: I dare you to admit, in front of the world that Holmes is infinitely better then you.

4. Holmes: I dare you to stay with a woman, and be nice to her *evil grin* for 2 whole days.

5. Watson: I dare you to tell the truth about what you feel about Holmes

6. Holmes: I dare you to tell the truth about what you feel about Watson

7. Lestrade: I dare you to make Holmes join the police force

8. Mycroft: I dare you to go on a diet

and the last one, for now

9. Moriarty: I dare you to celebrate Christmas, and really have real fun, with  
Holmes, Mycroft, and Watson.

Holmes: 'clutching his aspidistra' but-but, my precious-

Jaclyn: Holmes, give it to Mrs. Hudson

Holmes: 'closes eyes and held out the aspidistra to Mrs. Hudson'

Moriaty: 'evil smirk' I love this dare

Mrs. Hudson: 'snatches the aspidistra away' I never liked one of these things 'threw aspidistra into a furnace'

Holmes: 'screams'

Moriaty: 'evil laughter'

Jaclyn: 'takes out burnt-to-a-crisp aspidistra from furnace' oh, it's burnt to a crisp, heehee

Holmes: NOOOOOO!!!!

Jaclyn: too late, anyway, next dare. Now, Watson 'clicks finger and suddenly everyone's at Watson's wedding'

Watson: I don't want to go through that again

Mary: 'slaps Watson' JERK!

Jaclyn: Watson, the dare

Watson: Fine, Holmes, Lestrade, sing

Holmes and Lestrade: NO WAY MAN!

Watson: pur-lease??!?!

Holmes: fine, but you are so dead after this

Watson: 'gulp'

Jaclyn: and music?

Holmes and Lestrade:

(Timon/Holmes_) I can see what's happening _I can?

(Pumbaa/Lestrade) _What?_

(Timon/Holmes) _And they don't have a clue_

(Pumbaa/Lestrade) _Who?_

(Timon/Holmes) _They'll_ _fall in love and here's the bottom line our trio's down to two._

(Pumbaa/Lestrade) _Oh_

(Timon/Holmes_) The sweet caress of twilight_

_there's magic everywhere_

_and with all this romantic atmosphere_

_Disaster's in the air. _Sure there is

(Choir) _Can you feel the love tonight_

_The peace the evening brings_

_The world for once in perfect harmony_

_With all its living things_

(Simba/Watson) _So many things to tell her_

_But how to make her see_

_The truth about my past? Impossible!_

_She'd turn away from me._ What about my past?

(Nala/Mary_) He's holding back, he's hiding_

_From what I can't decide_

_Why won't he be the king I know he is_

_The king I see inside?_ WTF Watson's king?!??!

(Choir) _Can you feel the love tonight_

_The peace the evening brings_

_The world for once in perfect harmony_

_With all its living things_

_Can you feel the love tonight_

_You needn't look too far_

_Stealing through the night's uncertainties_

_Love is where they are_

(Timon/Holmes) _And if he falls in love tonight_

_It can be assumed _assumed what?

(Pumbaa/Lestrade) _His carefree days with us are history_

(Timon+Pumbaa) _In short, our pal is doomed _He pretty much is

Everyone: 'applauds'

Jaclyn: thank you, I didn't know you guys know the whole song by heart

Holmes: Lestrade has all the Disney songs in his bright pink ipod

Pause

Lestrade: you stole my iPod?!?!

Holmes: um, no!

Jaclyn: stop fighting, children, and get on with our next dare. Moriaty, if you please

Moriaty: hmph, I will NEVER EVER admit that Holmes is infinitely better than me

Holmes: come on, just say it, I know you admit it

Moriaty: 'aims pistol at Holmes' head' one more word, detective

Jaclyn: That's it! We are not going to have any more violence in here, Moriaty, drop that pistol and summon whatever dignity you have left and finish the dare

Moriaty: 'drops pistol' I admit that Holmes is infinitely better than me

Holmes: :D

Jaclyn: thank you, and our next dare. Holmes, stay with a woman and be nice to her for two whole days

Holmes: 'gags' but-but-but

Jaclyn: no butts

Holmes: Who am I staying with?

Jaclyn: Um 'grabs Helen Stoner' her

Holmes: 'faints'

Jaclyn: now, be nice to her and make sure she is in one piece when I need her back

Holmes: 'gulps'

Jaclyn: There's a nice house and off you go! 'Pushes them both into the room'

Jaclyn: now, our next request is a Truth for Watson

Watson: 'puts on lie detector'

Jaclyn: tell us the truth of what you feel about Holmes

Watson: um 'perspiring' do I really have to answer this question?

Lestrade: come on!

Watson: I do have some feelings for him 'lie detector flashes green'

Pause

Jaclyn: um, now, isn't that nice, let's just go on 'disturbed look'

Lestrade: I am some what not surprised

Jaclyn: okay, looks like we need to borrow Holmes for awhile 'let Holmes out'

Holmes: 'hopefully' has two days passed already?

Jaclyn: um, let me think…NO! 'Puts lie detector on Holmes' tell us what you feel bout Watson

Holmes: I do not have any feelings for him 'lie detector flashes green'

Everyone: 'groans in disappointment'

Jaclyn: now isn't that sad for Watson. Right, the next dare, Lestrade

Lestrade: 'sighs' Holmes, I order you to join the police force

Holmes: and be a Scotland Yard Jack-In-The-Office? NO WAY MAN!!!

Lestrade: join and I help you skip the 4th dare

Holmes: 'wide eye' REALLY?!

Lestrade: 'evil smirk' really

Holmes: COUNT ME IN!

Lestrade: alright, look, Holmes has agreed

Jaclyn: okay, good, Holmes, Lestrade tricked you, you still have to finish the 4th dare with Miss Stoner

Holmes: WTFFFFFFFF?!?!?!?! 'Punched Lestrade' DAMN YOU &^*(^&*%$%^&*%(*(^%&*%$#

Jaclyn: 'edging away from Holmes' that's a lot of colorful languages. Right, next dare is for Mycroft

Mycroft: Aw great, what is it?

Jaclyn: go on a diet

Mycroft: that's not-WHAT?!

Jaclyn: yep, go on a diet 'throws him a diet sheet'

Mycroft: 'reads from diet sheet' breakfast-oatmeal with pears. Lunch-salad dinner-cabbage soup THIS IS HELL! THERE IS NO BURGERS WRITTEN IN THIS SHEET!

Jaclyn: sucks for you

Holmes: You know, you could do without a few pounds

Mycroft: 'sniffs'

Jaclyn: okay, on with the next dare 'clicks finger and suddenly everyone is in a large hall with lots of Christmas decorations' Moriaty, Mycroft, Watson and Holmes, enjoy

Moriaty: ha! I am now free to kill you! 'Lunges at Holmes'

Jaclyn: 'clicks finger and suddenly Moriaty was in a Santa Claus outfit with fake beards' heeheehe

Moriaty: 'not knowing' I am going to kill you!

Holmes: 'bursts out laughing'

Mycroft: you know, I always plays Santa during Christmas but you can have the part

Moriaty: you can have the part what?

Mycroft: look into the mirror

Pause

Moriaty: I am a big fat man in red!

Watson: yes you are

Moriaty: 'squeaks' Mommy!!!

Holmes: 'dumps a jug of punch on Moriaty' here have a drink, you look exhausted

Moriaty: I am now covered in punch! 'Cries'

Mycroft: 'threw chips on Moriaty' and you look absolutely starving

Watson: 'ties Moriaty up with streamers'

Jaclyn: well, everyone but Moriaty seems to be having lots of fun

Holmes: we are

Jaclyn: and I am not amused 'kicks Holmes back into house with Helen Stoner'

Holmes: but I was having so much fun!

Jaclyn: too bad. That's all we are having today, thank you for your attention! BYE!

_Authoress's note: thanks to everyone who gave the ideas above_


	3. Episode 2

_Note: Hi, I am sorry for not updating this for so long, but here's the next chapter. Thanks to all those who submitted their interesting truths and dare._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I just like to take them apart and play with them_

Jaclyn: okay, everyone, welcome back. I am very sorry for the extremely long break, but here we are, ready to continue this fun and exciting game. Before we start, I would like to introduce a new character to our story that is specially requested by Lady Katelynna; Josh, who is Watson's son and is not very well-known in the stories.

Everyone: 'grumbling'

Josh: no thanks for the warm welcome. Let's get started, the sooner we finish the sooner we end.

Watson: 'beaming'

Jaclyn: right, since Josh has nothing to do so far, why don't you read the requests?

Josh: whatever. This one is from Lady Katelynna:

**Holmes- admit that your anorexic- we all know you are!**

**Lestrade- what made you want to be a yardie?**

**Moriaty- what is it that happened in your childhood that lead you to become an evil criminal mastermind?**

**Watson- since we all kow from the previous question that you are completely enamored with Holmes- if you could steal one of Holmes possessions and keep it and snuggle it forever, what would it be?**

**Mycroft- *looks around* What did your parents DO to your little brother?**

**Oh! Holmes- I dare you to handcuff you and Watson together for a whole week, through bed, and bathing and EVERYTHING *evil laughter* then we'll see if you don't have any feelings!**

Jaclyn: ahh, finally tapping into the private lives of our dear residents of 221B, thank you, Lady Katelynna

Holmes: 'glares' look here woman, I am NOT, I repeat, NOT anorexic and I do not appreciate anyone tapping into my life

Jaclyn: looks like someone got off the wrong side of bed today

Holmes: the only reason why I behaved like the nutcase I did last episode is because I OD on-

Jaclyn: I don't want to know

Holmes: 'sent everyone a glare that can cut through steel. Heck, even steel runs away from that withering glare'

Watson: 'who happens to be seated right next to Holmes' can I move to somewhere safe? I don't want to have a violin shoved down my throat any time soon

Jaclyn: no, and we should carry on. Holmes looks like he is going to hurt someone really really soon so, for the sake of everyone's sanity, let's just carry on. Lestrade, why do you want to be part of the Scotland Yard?

Lestrade: 'grin and rub hands together' Where do I begin…..okay, let's start from the time when I was a kid, I have always wanted to be part of the law enforcement, and my first choice is the Scotland Yard-

Holmes: Oh, don't you mean the 'couldn't-get-anything-done-since-Lestrade-became-Inspector Yard'?

Josh: 'grins' I like this guy

Lestrade: As I was saying, I love solving crimes and-

Holmes: wait, don't you mean 'I love getting all the credits for crimes that my fellow colleague Sherlock Holmes solved while I played the role of an idiotic, annoying obstacle to investigations'?

Josh: I'll take back what I said earlier, I love this guy!

Jaclyn: Holmes, why don't we let Lestrade finish his story so we can all move on?

Holmes: 'glares'

Lestrade: so, carrying on, I love catching bad guys and playing with all those cool detective equipments and…..

_2 hours later….._

Lestrade: …so hence, I solved my first unofficial case, though it is a little weird that we found the hippo stuck in the well but…

_4 hours later…_

Lestrade: ….and when his back is turned, I made my quick getaway. I cut myself on the bush though, and I had to stench the flow. Heavy blood loss runs in my family and my uncle got a heart attack because of it-

Holmes: heavy blood loss runs in your family? Don't you mean brain damage runs in your family?

Jaclyn: Holmes, please. Lestrade, are you quite finished?

Lestrade: well, not really-

Holmes: yes, he is quite finished

Jaclyn: Great! Thank goodness. Now, moving on to our next Truth: Moriarty, what is it that happened in your childhood that leads you to become an evil criminal mastermind?

Moriarty: 'grin and rub hands together' Where do I begin…..okay, let's start from the time when I was a kid, I have always wanted to be evil, and-

Holmes: 'throw hands up in defeat' Oh great, here we go again

_2 hours later….._

Moriarty: …I mean, the world is such a boring place! So I decided to add some colors to it by committing all kinds of colorful and creative crimes that no one could solve-

Holmes: you call _murder _a colorful and creative crime? Damn, if that is the case my world is like a kaleidoscope

Jaclyn: Holmes! Enough with the sarcasms already!

Josh: No, no, carry on. That is the most interesting thing that has happened so far

Moriarty: so I was saying-

Holmes: please, shut up. Listening to you is worst than listening to the Jonas Bro-

Jaclyn: OKAY! Let's carry on. Watson- since we all know from the previous question that you are completely enamored with Holmes- if you could steal one of Holmes possessions and keep it and snuggle it forever, what would it be?

Holmes: Okay, let me get this straight. First of all, Watson can never steal one of my possessions and get away with it, not without me knowing and giving him a black eye. Second of all, most of my possessions are firearms and explosives that no sane souls would want to _snuggle _with.

_Pause_

Holmes: On second thoughts, maybe only Watson would want to snuggle with them.

Watson: I would say, the jackknife stuck to the mantelpiece

Holmes: 'evil grin' Oh, go ahead, take it. I use that knife to cut flesh off dead bodies for experimental purposes

Everyone: 'gags'

Jaclyn: ok, you do have great taste, Watson. Moving on, this is a truth for Mycroft: What did your parents DO to your little brother?

Mycroft: Uh, I don't know. The usual, I guess? They didn't treat him any differently from me, the reason why he is the way he is today has nothing to do with my parents, I think.

Moriarty: So you are saying that bad parenting has nothing to do with him?

Holmes: 'death glare' what are you implying, my dear Moriarty?

Mycroft: no, nothing, he is not implying anything, he is just trying to say-

Moriarty: 'making a fatal mistake' -what are freak you are

Holmes: 'smirk' I will deal with you later on, and when I am done-

Jaclyn: No threats please

Holmes: the same applies to you, woman

Jaclyn: should I be scared?

Everyone: 'face palms'

Jaclyn: okay, moving on. Our next game is a Dare: Holmes- I dare you to handcuff you and Watson together for a whole week, through bed, and bathing and EVERYTHING *evil laughter* then we'll see if you don't have any feelings!

Holmes: 'muttering angrily' if I ever get my hands on a rifle…

Watson: 'throwing frightened looks at his ill-tempered room-mate' uh, can we skip this dare? I really want to live another day

Jaclyn: ummm, let me see….how about no? 'Flings handcuffs to them' Help yourself

Holmes: 'glaring at the handcuffs with such rage that the irons melted in Watson's hands'

Watson: 'howling in pain'

Jaclyn: Wow, looks like Scott Summers is not the only one with a killer stare. Okay, moving on. Our next set of Truths and Dares are from **luver of fanfiction: **

**holmes- give up cocain. (yeah I know, chessey.)**

**watson- kiss holmes on the lips.**

**moriarty- explain why you hate holmes as much as you do.**

**mycroft- what are your true feelings toward your brother?**

**lesrade- say that holmes has made your life 100 percent eaiser.**

**holmes prt2- plz punch edward cullen from twilight in the face. (i would pay good money to see this.)**

Irene: give up cocaine? Never gonna happen.

Watson: NO! NO NO NO NO NO! Don't take his cocaine away from him! He turns rabid without them

Holmes: Not really rabid, just really really irritated and sarcastic

Jaclyn: Huh, good to know. Right, Holmes, hand over your morocco case right now

Holmes: 'glares, but hands it over'

Jaclyn: good, now, while we wait for the rabid-ness to surface, let's move on

_There is a sudden scrapping of chairs as everyone moves out of a 100 meter radius of the detective_

Holmes: Oh, great, that's great, more breathing space for me

Jaclyn: okay, Watson, I believe you know your dare?

Watson: Are you mad? I am not going near him while he is separated from his coke

Jaclyn: ha! Sucks to be you

Watson: 'takes a deep breath' ok, here goes 'Dash to Holmes so fast and back that he was a blur and cowers behind Mycroft'

_Pause_

Jaclyn: that is disappointing

Holmes: 'eye-roll'

Jaclyn: Right, carrying on, here's a truth for Moriarty: explain why you hate holmes as much as you do.

Moriarty: 'grins and rubs hands together' Where do I begin-

Holmes: 'growls' Stop, just stop, enough with that already, or I will personally rip you apart like spinach and your guys will be picking up bits and pieces of you everywhere in London

Jaclyn: I see that's where the rabid-ness kicks in eh?

Moriarty: Well, I don't really hate him; it is fun to have a challenger in your life sometimes. Holmes is just purely irritating when he keeps interrupting my evil plans and throwing me in jail

Jaclyn: oh, so Holmes is just part of the game?

Holmes: I AM NOT PART OF HIS GAME DAMNIT!

Jaclyn: ahhh, maybe the first dare is a mistake. Anyway, moving on: Mycroft- what are your true feelings toward your brother?

Mycroft: normal, no particular feelings, just mildly irritated sometimes, especially when he calls me up at 3 in the morning when he is high on coke and recites Macbeth backwards

Holmes: 'twitching' really? I don't recall doing that

Mycroft: humph, I wonder why

Jaclyn: good, good. Next truth: Lestrade- say that Holmes has made your life 100 percent easier.

Lestrade: okay, fine, he has, maybe not 100 percent, 'cuz he still embarrasses me in front of my other officers sometimes

Irene: Oh, you mean the time when you lost a bet with him and he made you drink beer while hanging upside down?

Lestrade: that's just one time, when he is high on coke

Holmes: 'still twitching' I don't recall doing that either

Lestrade: I wonder why

Jaclyn: great, and now, to the Dare that all of us have being waiting for! 'Poofs Edward Cullen into the room'

EC: wait, I can teleport? Cool!

Jaclyn: No, you can't teleport, and your purpose here is not a happy one

EC: what is it?

Holmes: 'stalks EC angrily and punches him in the head'

EC: JEEZ! What is your problem mate?

Holmes: Listen, I am not your mate, and I don't appreciate being called that by a sparkly, gay vamp-

Jaclyn: no personal attacks please, though some of the audiences would agree to that

EC: 'staring at Irene' Do I know you?

Irene: no, you don't

EC: but I swear I saw you somewhere…

Holmes: you lay one finger on her, leech, and I will-

Jaclyn: yay! End of the episode! See you next time! BYE!


End file.
